7 mistakes that parents make without even realising

Parents being wrong

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. It’s full of joy, learning, and yes, some blind spots. Here are 7 common parenting missteps that often go unnoticed, yet leave a lasting impact on the child's emotional world.

Comparing the kids to others

It’s said, “See how well that child behaves.” But comparison steals confidence. It shifts focus from growth to competition, making the child feel not good enough even when trying hard.

Not listening to the kid

There’s a belief that adults always know better and kids should just follow.Yet, children notice when no one really listens. Their small stories may seem trivial, but to them, it’s everything. Being unheard builds silent distance.

Solving all their problems

It feels natural to protect. When there’s a struggle, the first instinct is to step in and fix it.But constant rescuing takes away problem-solving strength. It also sends a quiet message that the child is incapable on their own.

Using harsh language

Words like “useless” or “you’ll never learn” often come out in moments of stress.Even when unintentional, such words settle deep in the heart. Children start believing those labels, long after the scolding ends.

Not apologizing when wrong

Some think apologizing to a child weakens authority or respect. But owning up to a mistake teaches accountability. It builds trust, showing that even adults are learning—and that’s okay.

Expecting perfection

There’s silent pressure to be “ideal” in behaviour, habits, and choices—often unknowingly passed down.But perfection is an illusion. Children need space to make mistakes, mess up, and grow, just like everyone else.

​10 ways to say NO to your child, without actually saying it​

The biggest challenge in parenting is to convey "No" Navigating parenting can sometimes involve saying "no" without directly using the word. This approach helps in guiding your child while maintaining a positive and respectful tone. Here are a few ways to set boundaries and manage requests:

"Let’s find another way"

Instead of a flat "no," say, "Let’s find another way to handle this." This invites your child to explore alternative solutions and promotes problem-solving skills, helping them feel involved in the decision-making process.

"I understand that’s important, but…"

Acknowledge their feelings with, "I understand that’s important to you, but right now we need to focus on something else." This shows empathy and redirects their attention while validating their emotions.

"How about we do this instead?"

Offer an alternative with, "How about we do this instead?" By suggesting another activity or option, you provide a constructive way to shift their focus while maintaining their engagement.

"It’s not the right time for that"

Use timing to your advantage with, "It’s not the right time for that." This phrase helps explain that their request may be suitable in the future, teaching patience and understanding of timing.

"We have to follow the rules"

Frame it as a matter of rules with, "We have to follow the rules." This reinforces the idea that decisions are based on established guidelines, which helps in understanding boundaries and structure

"I am not sure that’s a good idea right now"

Express uncertainty gently by saying, "I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now." This opens a dialogue about why the request may not be appropriate at the moment, encouraging thoughtful discussion.

"Let’s think about what we can do instead"

Redirect their focus with, "Let’s think about what we can do instead." This keeps the conversation positive and constructive, guiding them towards alternative activities or solutions.

"I am here to help you find a solution"

Position yourself as a supportive guide with, "I’m here to help you find a solution." This approach shows that you are willing to work together to address their needs while setting clear boundaries.

"We need to focus on this first"

Prioritize tasks by saying, "We need to focus on this first." This helps your child understand that certain tasks or responsibilities take precedence, teaching them about prioritization and time management.

"That’s not an option right now, but let’s try this"

Clearly but gently deny the request with, "That’s not an option right now, but let’s try this." This approach firmly sets boundaries while offering an alternative, keeping the situation constructive and positive.

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

"Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers" by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté emphasizes the crucial role of parental attachment in child development and the risks of peer orientation.

Here are 7 lessons from the book:

1. Importance of Parental Attachment: The primary bond between parents and children is essential for healthy development. Children need to feel securely attached to their parents to thrive emotionally and psychologically.

2. Dangers of Peer Orientation: When children become more attached to their peers than their parents, it can lead to various issues, including behavioral problems, anxiety, and a lack of direction. Peer orientation can undermine parental influence and guidance.

3. Cultivating Connection: Spend quality time with your children and engage in activities that strengthen your bond. This helps ensure that your children see you as their primary source of support and guidance.

4. Being Emotionally Available: Be emotionally available and responsive to your children’s needs. Show empathy, listen actively, and validate their feelings to build a strong emotional connection.

5. Setting Boundaries: Establish clear and consistent boundaries to provide a sense of security and structure. Children need to understand the limits and expectations within a loving and supportive environment.

6. Modeling Behavior: Be a role model for your children. Demonstrate the values, behaviors, and attitudes you want them to adopt. Children learn by observing their parents.

7. Encouraging Open Communication: Foster open and honest communication with your children. Create an environment where they feel safe to share their thoughts, fears, and concerns without fear of judgment.

By implementing these lessons from "Hold On to Your Kids," parents can strengthen their attachment with their children, ensuring they remain the primary influence in their lives and fostering healthier, more resilient development.

Valuable points from the book 'Opposite of Spoiled'

10 key lessons and insights you’ll take from it:

1. Talk Openly About Money—Even With Young Kids You may hesitate to discuss money with your child, fearing it’s too complex or inappropriate. But this book shows you how those conversations are essential. When you explain, answer their questions, and let them in on how finances work, you’re not spoiling them—you’re empowering them.

2. Allowance Is a Tool, Not a Reward You’ll learn that allowance shouldn’t be tied to chores or grades. Instead, it’s a teaching tool. When you give your child a regular allowance and let them manage it, you teach responsibility, decision-making, and the value of money—without turning every task into a transaction.

3. Spend, Save, Give: Teach Financial Purpose Rather than letting money become an abstract concept, you’re encouraged to break it down into three jars: Spend, Save, and Give. This system helps your child understand that money can do many things—some for fun, some for the future, and some to help others. It’s a practical way to teach balance.

4. Answer the Hard Questions Honestly Your child will ask, “Are we rich?” or “How much money do you make?” This book doesn’t tell you to deflect—it shows you how to answer thoughtfully, in age-appropriate ways. You’ll learn how to turn these moments into honest discussions about fairness, work, privilege, and gratitude.

5. Let Your Child Make Money Mistakes You might be tempted to step in when your child wants to spend all their money on candy or a toy you know won’t last. But this book encourages you to let them make mistakes. Those small missteps are powerful teaching moments—helping them learn consequences without judgment.

6. Use Money to Teach Values You’ll see how every spending decision is a chance to teach what matters in your family. Whether it's supporting local businesses, saving for something meaningful, or donating to causes, you’re shaping your child’s moral compass through your financial choices and discussions.

7. Chores Teach Responsibility, Not Economics Instead of paying for every task, you’ll treat chores as a way to contribute to the household—because that’s what families do. Your child learns they’re part of a team. When you do occasionally pay for extra work, it’s a special opportunity—not an expectation.

8. Gratitude Is the Antidote to Spoiling You’ll understand that spoiled kids aren’t the result of too much money—they’re the result of too little appreciation. By modeling gratitude and encouraging your child to express thanks, reflect on privilege, and notice what they have, you help them develop humility and empathy.

9. Money Conversations Are Never One-and-Done This isn’t about giving one perfect talk. It’s about many small, ongoing conversations. You’ll learn how to make money a natural, regular topic—so your child grows up with financial literacy as part of their everyday thinking.

10. Raising “Unspoiled” Kids Is About Character, Not Deprivation You don’t have to say no to everything. You just have to say yes with intention. This book reminds you that the opposite of spoiled isn’t poor—it’s grounded, generous, patient, and curious. You’re not trying to limit your child; you’re trying to raise someone who can handle freedom wisely. In essence, The Opposite of Spoiled helps you raise a child who understands money not just as currency, but as a reflection of values. You don’t need to be a financial expert—you just need to be open, intentional, and willing to make money part of your family’s moral education.

20 Difficult Conversations Parents Have With Their Kids

Whether you're an experienced parent with kids already leaving the nest or someone who's about to be a first-time parent, there may be a few difficult conversations you will have (or have had) with your children. As the adult figure, it's important to approach these discussions calmly, with an open mind, and a game plan set. After all, kids look up to you, so you have to do your job to guide them on the right path. Here are 20 examples of hard but necessary conversations parents need to have with their children.

1. The Birds and the Bees

Depending on the parent's comfortability levels, talking about the birds and the bees with their kids can be an awkward conversation you're dreading. Parents know how important it is to address it, but finding the easiest way to explain the topic might prove to be more difficult than initially imagined. After all, making sure kids take away the key, important messages and lessons needs to be done skillfully!

2. Puberty

Kids go through a lot of changes as they start getting older and it's important for parents to make sure they know what's happening to their bodies and their emotions. Everyone goes through puberty, but it can still be a weird and strange concept for kids to wrap their head around. All parents need to do is m3. Grief & Loss ©cottonbro studio on Pexels Experiencing loss is hard no matter how old you are. The only difference is, if you're a child, you may not be able to fully understand these deep and painful emotions. That's why it's crucial that parents be there for their children and walk them through the stages of grief, what it means to lose someone, how to find support, and how to cope. No one wants to address that loss is always possible, but it's important children feel equipped to deal with it should it ever happen. >ake sure they feel supported and understand they're not alone in this transformation.

3. Grief & Loss

Experiencing loss is hard no matter how old you are. The only difference is, if you're a child, you may not be able to fully understand these deep and painful emotions. That's why it's crucial that parents be there for their children and walk them through the stages of grief, what it means to lose someone, how to find support, and how to cope. No one wants to address that loss is always possible, but it's important children feel equipped to deal with it should it ever happen.

4. School Grades

When kids start underperforming at school or get called out by teachers for their poor work ethic or behavior, that's when parents need to step in. It can be hard for children to understand the importance of school while they're in it, so that's why parents need to make it clear. You don't have to be the best, but you should still try!

5. Future Careers

Figuring out your future, whether it be what college to go to, what to study, or what field to work in, can be incredibly hard if you have to do it alone. Kids need a parental figure to talk to, someone who can be understanding but also push them towards the right direction. It's a crucial step in any child's life, and knowing you have the guidance and support behind you is everything.

6. Rebellious Behavior

Not all teens go through a rebellious phase, but for those that do, it can be hard to accept for parents. It can become very worrisome trying to figure out the best way to get through to them, and for many moms and dads, it comes with a lot of stress thinking your child may be putting themselves in danger. When it comes to that point, it's time to sit down and have an honest heart to heart about concerns.

7. Screentime

In today's online world, excessive use of phones, computers, TV, and any digital device is becoming more and more prevalent. For kids who should be busy studying, doing homework, or being productive, these distractions are more damaging than they may realize. So for parents who see too much screentime hindering their child's growth, it's time to talk.

8. Bullying

Not all kids are open to their parents about being bullied in school, so it's up to their moms and dads to catch the cues. If a parent feels at all worried about their child being potentially bullied, they need to do something. It might be an uncomfortable talk or it might even be a wrong suspicion, but it's always better to be safe than sorry. After all, if it is happening, you need to let you child know they're safe and supported.

9. Being In A Relationship

As kids grow older and become adults, it's only natural that they begin developing crushes and even start relationships. While it's still just innocent young love, it's important for parents to teach their kids at an early age how to treat others with respect and how to love yourself first.

10. Big Life Changes

From moving houses to switching schools, there are a lot of ways a child's life may be affected by their parents decisions. Experiencing big changes as a kid can be very nerve-wracking and uncomfortable, so it's up to the parents to sit them down and carefully explain the reasons and that they'll do whatever it takes to help them adjust. Kids need to know they're not alone in this.

11. Substance Use

Kids aren't innocent forever, and as they grow up and meet new people at school, they may be exposed to many dangerous things. Whether it's alcohol or drugs, parents can't just rely on teachers to get the message straight - it needs to come from them too! Teach kids about the dangers of usage, making it clear why they need to stay away.

12. Social Justice Issues

Children will grow to become more attuned with what's going on in the world as they learn in school and hear more about the news. A lot of what happens can be incredibly overwhelming, so it may be worth for parents to have a deep and honest discussion about social justice issues and whether or not their kids feel affected by it.

13. Financial Discussions

If a family is struggling to make ends meet, it's crucial that the parents let their children know and don't leave them in the dark. Because the more it piles on, the more likely they'll struggle to hide this huge secret. It's much better letting everyone involved know early on so that it can be dealt with as a team. It also teaches kids about the importance of financial responsibility and how to handle hard situations.

14. Sexuality

One of the most challenging conversations for both kids and parents to have is one about sexuality. Because it's been presented in media as difficult, that's what everyone is led to believe - but it doesn't have to be! The most important thing to remember is that you're a family, and openness, honesty, and understanding should always be at the forefront. If you lead with these in mind, it'll be much easier to navigate.

15. Mental Health

There often seems to be a misconception that children don't experience poor mental health. Adults tend to believe their depression, anxiety, and stressors aren't "real," carelessly ignoring them or not treating them as seriously as they would for an adult. This way of thinking is dangerous, harmful, and needs to be changed. All parents should sit down with their children and carefully explain the value of self-care and getting help when needed.

16. Becoming More Independent

Thinking about getting your child to pay for their own phone bill or want them to do more around the house? They're not going to take parents seriously unless they have a formal talk with them. It's easy for children to feel spoiled and cared for when their parents do most of the heavy lifting when they're young, but as they grow older, they need to be taught independence and how to do their part.

17. Divorce

Arguably the biggest life change that any family can experience, for parents going through a divorce, you better be prepared with a plan before you tell your children. Completing altering the family dynamic, this is no easy conversation to have with kids. It's going to lead to tears, anger, frustration, and likely a lot of confusion as everyone approaches this big new change.

18. Step Parents

And for parents that have gone through divorce, introducing their children to their new partner can be an awkward and uncomfortable situation. It's a stressful time filled with worry and anxiety, but also deep hope that everyone can get along. It should never be left until the moment of introduction, there needs to be a talk done beforehand to prepare the children.

19. Illnesses

Whether it's something minor or something major like cancer, families need to be open and honest about what's going on with their well-being. It's a tough conversation to have, one that will be highly emotional, but it needs to be done so everyone can plan the next course of action and be prepared for what needs to be done.

20. Tragedies

The world can be a dark place at times filled with many tragedies, and when they happen, it's better to address the issues with children instead of hiding it. Parents need to take on the responsible role of discussing these terrible events, letting their kids know it's not something to ignore and why it's so important to be a good, caring person.